Stealing from our children

"So you are going to sail across this ocean then, the last leg of your trip around the world?"

"That's the plan, and its a sea Baaba, not an ocean"

"Is that because it is smaller and more like a big bay?"

"Yeah, pretty much. So what do you reckon then? She's fierce isn't she?"

"Yeah, but if anyone can do it, you can Mama"

One of the last conversations I had with my two sons before they flew from New Zealand back to the UK together, on their own, before my global circumnavigation of sailing the world began.

This photo was taken by a dear friend who captured them both stood discussing the prospect of me sailing around the world on my own, as part of various different crews, and how we would one day recreate this photo.

The Tasman Sea. One of the most formiddable Sea's there is, and the final leg of the Sydney Hobart Race, one of the most hardcore races in the sailing world.

But what does this have to do with our inalienable rights? Also known as our human rights?

Well, as the title suggests as parents we often steal our children's future from them.

This is done in a variety of ways from smothering them in cotton wool and being overly protective, by not thinking they are old enough to understand the answers to their relentless stream of questions and by not giving them their human rights within the home environment.

How though, can we give them their human rights when many of us do not even know our own?

And why do we not know our own rights?

There are many answers to that.

Can't be bothered,

Don't have the time,

Too complicated,

Got better things to think about such as paying bills,

And the most telling one of all...

What's the point? The government won't give them to us anyway.

So many of us have already given up hope of ever having our right recognised, and yet when something doesn't go our way, one of the thing we do is ask "What right do you have to deny or take away my right to ...."

We want justice, but don't know the first thing about owning our right to justice.

We want our children to grow up in a better world, have better opportunities than we had and yet we don't take the time to sit down with our children and learn our rights.

And we both know I am not talking about the imposed rights of governance which change with the winds and agendas of each changing political party. I am talking about our inalienable rights.

If I was to ask you right now what your rights are, would you know what they are?

Would you be able to stand up in a court of law and fight for your rights?

No, not many people would. Not even most lawyers would know the 30 rights layed out in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights,

When you know your rights and have to fight for them in a court of law, many prosecutors will colour in embarrassment at their own lack of knowledge, as I found out when Police Scotland kidnapped me and my children back in 2015.

(You can read all about what happened in my third book Crossing The Line).

Before I became a parent, I made sure I knew the 30 Articles because I wanted to make sure that my boys (yes, I always knew I would have two sons) knew their rights, and knew how to fight for them.

I wove the 30 articles into conversations, into my parenting techniques and made sure my sons felt free to express themselves even if it would mean upset of any kind for me.

I encouraged them to disagree with me and their father, and I taught them to stand up for their right to choose for themselves, and I taught them to debate, negotiate and call me out on any hypocrisy they felt I exhibited.

In Article 18, of the UDHR, it states "Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance".

How many parents force their religious views upon their children? Or a career choice they have chosen for their child? How many of us deny our children the right to question the way we are parenting them, or the choices we make for them?

And by denying this curiosity, telling our children what to think, eat, and belief, as well as who to be friends with, are we not controlling narcissists by default?

I always knew that if my children could stand up to me, question my thoughts and attitudes, then they could also do the same outside of the home. As a parent it is my duty to teach them a respectful way of defending themselves in schools, workplaces and their social circles.

Article 19 states "Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers".

This one was a challenging one to teach my sons, because when they are younger and they don't quite have all the tools of full self expression refined as much as we would like, their self expression can be the most painful (and infuriating) things we can teach them.

Was it easy to be challenged by my five and nine year old sons who spotted a hole my thinking whilst living in Egypt and discussing the unfolding protests for freedom? Before they proceeded to 'gang up on me' whilst wearing underpants on their heads with goggles and a Power Ranger cape? Not on your bloody nelly it wasn't!

In fact, standing there being called out on it was one of the most confronting things they've done; and still do today; although it is slightly less amusing these days as we've lost the underpants, goggles and cape.

Being asked relentless questions I haven't had the answers to has given us opportunities to discover the answers together, and then in true Arabic style debate over the dinner table our views until a concensus has been reached, or we've agreed to disagree.

Debating and negotiating with our children, allowing them to express themselves and discover middle ground gives them confidence out in the world, and in schools these can be the difference between being bullied by other children, or by the teachers and administration.

To receive these challenging insights from our children, are some of the most beautiful exchanges we can have, and yet so many parents deny their children these vital life skills, because the parent themselves are lacking in their own ability to debate and negotiate.

We only have to look at people who simply accept a salary suggested, rather than negotiate for their worth - which again not many people realise because they have never understood their value or their right to be free of corporate slavery.

Article 4 outlines this beautifully "No one shall be held in slavery or servitude; slavery and the slave trade shall be prohibited in all their forms", and many a CEO, CFO and COO of the corporate world would be wise to take heed of this - especially in legal firms.

Many mothers around the world do everything for their children, stealing education, confidence and trust within the self of their children, often without realising it.

They think they are doing a great job, but when most mothers I know hear my 14 year old son flies the world by himself to see me, having been taken to the airport by his older brother, their anxiety levels rise.

Some say they themselves wouldn't do it alone, let alone allow their child to do it alone, and I am left feeling sad at the lack of confidence these women, these mothers have in their own abilities.

My own sister thinks I am incredibly irresponsible for my "reckless behaviour" - her daughters think I am the coolest aunty ever - and who am I to disagree with that?

The thing is though, we all have a right to parent, think, express and choose for ourselves, without fear of persecution or discrimination, as I explained in the Oban courts back in 2016 and 2017.

Sharing Article 7 which states "All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination", along with the work I do, declaring this raised a few eyebrows and made the Judge reconsider who he thought he was dealing with.

When it came to my sons being called as witnesses by the prosecutors, and their statements were given, it was later concluded that my children had been put up to their testimonies by me and schooled in delivery "because they are too eloquent and informed".

The fact that my children are well educated, as per the UDHR and taught to think, critique and question, as well as speak 'proper' English was lost on the prosecutors and judges. How could a single mum of Arab children produce such well spoken and educated children? It just wasn't possible.

Discrimination in action, and in part the problem many single mums have due to the lack of support and respect from society. Attitudes towards single mums hasn't changed much since the 1940's, and back then many became single mum's due to the 'war effort' - once again created by corrupt governments the world over who realised that by teaching the UDHR in classrooms as it was when it was first layed out, we as citizens were harder to control.

And we all know that there is power in numbers, and we only control things we are afriad of; much like the full self expression and relentless questioning of our own children, and controlling theirbehaviours for fear of judgement from others.

So the question I leave you with today, this third day in #humanrightsmonth is "Which of the Articles in the UDHR do you know, and how many more do you have to learn and understand?"

And as a final question, "If you have not learnt them and shared them with your children, regardless of how old they are, isn't it about time you did?"

#humanrightseveryday #humanrightsforall #socialjustice #stopgovernmentcorruption #knowyourrights #geteducated #empoweryourchildren