Beasts of the World: Hairy Humanoids

HOW MANY TYPES OF HAIRY HUMANOIDS ARE THERE?

To the uninitiated, and even to many hardcore fans of the Bigfoot phenomenon, there is a curious ignorance of the other numerous Hairy Humanoid reports from around the world. This Amerocentric focus on Bigfoot is, of course, unsurprising; when viewed through the lens of the media dominance of what was until recently the world’s only superpower; combined with the pervasive effect that the hegemony of the English language has had upon international dissemination of fringe subjects, like cryptozoology.

Indeed, many bigfooters might be surprised to find that an even greater assortment of Hairy Humanoids is to be found in abundance outside of North America, in all of the world’s continents, except Antarctica!

These Hairy Humanoids somewhat vary in size, description, and appearance, and in numerous instances, two or more ‘types’ or ‘species’ appear to be sharing a similar geographic area. Interestingly, these kissing cousins could represent unknown varieties of mystery hominids and primates, living within their niche’ habitats and often alongside one another, in a type of non-symbiotic mutualism.

The ongoing effort to systematically classify these Hairy Humanoids, is at best, fraught with technical jargon and implied knowledge of fringe anthropological theorems; and, as such, is far too diffuse for we laymen to ‘get a handle on’ in a treatise as brief and diverse as this book. Consequently, as a replacement for the many categories and sub-categories that have been devised to differentiate between the minutiae of the many classes of Hairy Humanoids around the globe; we will instead utilise here a broad assemblage for these numerous ‘Mansters’ as a coverall classification for ‘similar types’ in which the overall physiological appearance is comparable, even if some physical variation may be observable in size, colouration, and markings, etc.

Indeed, a model based upon bear speciation and specialisation around the world would make a fitting template on which to base these various – Hairy Humanoids. For example - a polar bear, brown bear, black bear, panda bear, sloth bear, and so on… all noticeably differ in appearance, behaviour, diet, and preferred habitat; yet, any observer who was at least familiar with one of these species would easily recognise the other members of this order with which he was unfamiliar, as belonging to the same family.

Thus, to uphold some veneer of differentiation between the primary types, we will, henceforth and in the spirit of simplicity, refer to several ‘catch-all categories’ when describing the various kinds. These broad classifications will be sufficiently wide-ranging; enough at least in an exposition as encyclopaedic as is this book, to give an overview of what appear to be general ‘classes’ of Hairy Humanoids and will absorb the following categories:

Man Apes: A massively built, hair-covered, upright, bipedal hominoid. Standing from 7 – 9 ft. tall, with large, wide, flat feet, similar to humans, that appear to have no arch; but instead exhibit a type of midfoot flexibility, commonly known as the midtarsal ridge.

Wildmen:Caveman-like, or Neanderthal-like, the Wildman is bipedal, largely hair covered, well-built, and muscular, standing between 5 – 7 ft. in height and often appearing to have distinct head hair, which is separate to that of its body. Its feet are human-like in appearance but broad and arched and closely match fossilised tracks that have been attributed to H.Neanderthalensis.

Relicts:Standing from 5ft. 6in. to 7ft. 6in. in height, these stocky apes, as opposed to the Man Apes and Wildmen, appear to occupy a position that is closer to that of true apes. And although they, too, like other Wildmen, are bipedal, they are also reported to walk quadrupedally and leave tracks that show a suspiciously ape-like, divergent medial toe. Something that may suggest an arboreal nature, suitable for climbing trees and rocky slopes.

Littlefoot: The less common, smaller form, is a type of small upright ape or proto-pygmy, standing between 2ft 6in - 5ft 6in tall; some of which, in the former, bear some resemblance to the ape-like Orang pendek of Sumatra and in the latter, the pygmy-like Ebu Gogo of Flores. Its feet are small and exhibit an ape-like divergent medial toe, with a rounded, tapered heel.

Monkey Monsters: Similar in appearance to known species of platyrrhines and catarrhines, in some respects, though massively outsized. Standing from 5 – 6 ft. in height. These monstrous primates are usually highly aggressive and are just as comfortable on two legs as they are on all fours. Most types possess a tail. They have long, narrow, clawed feet.

Dogmen: A large, muscular, wolf-like, or dog-like humanoid, standing from 5 – 8 ft. tall, that was once widespread throughout the ancient world but is now rare. Perhaps related to the monkey monsters still seen in Asia, Africa, and South America in the present day. Its feet are dog-like or wolf-like and leave large clawed tracks.

Amphibious Anthropoids:These semi-aquatic, anthropoidal forms are always described with both arms and legs and with ape-like or, sometimes reptilian characteristics. Unlike the Merbeings of old, they do not have tails and prefer rivers, lakes, ponds, and swamps to the open sea. Their tracks are 3 toed and webbed.

It will not escape the attention of the reader that although the creature features contained within this volume are but a selection of a far wider phenomenon (of which there are many diverse and far-flung members around the world) that one particularly important character, the giant, ‘Man Ape’ known as – Bigfoot, has been omitted. There is a good reason for this exclusion, which I hope that the reader will understand.

The history of Bigfoot, or how Bigfoot came to be, demands a separate book of its own, and in an exposition as fleeting as this, wherein each creature is generally allotted a 3 – 5 page inventory, there is little room for even the most cursory account of the history of this animal. A history that is not fixed mind you, but ever-growing and adding to itself with every passing year. To that end, it could be said that in the world of Cryptozoology, the North American Bigfoot (or Sasquatch) has become a genre in itself and one that needs a detailed analysis, which the author feels cannot be delivered here.

If a comprehensive study was undertaken to list all of the alleged Bigfoot sightings in North America, there is no doubt that the results would fill several thick volumes of what would constitute nothing less than a ‘stock take’ of Bigfoot reports. And, even though the utility of such an endeavour as a data resource would be invaluable to researchers worldwide, it would surely make for dreary reading to those of us seeking a more accessible overview of this fascinating phenomenon. It is certainly my intention to fully investigate this cryptid character within a later work, in which I hope to bring some new perspectives to the field of Bigfoot enquiry.

A massively built, hair-covered, upright, bipedal hominoid. Standing from 7 – 9 ft. tall. With large, wide, flat feet, similar to humans, that appear to have no arch; and instead exhibit a type of midfoot flexibility, commonly known as the midtarsal ridge.

In 1957, the Brazilian newspaper ‘Ultima Hora de Rio de Janeiro’ reported that the villagers of Tolar Grande were terrorised by eerie calls emanating from the mountains!

UCUMAR

This Bigfoot-like beast is a semi-mythical giant man-bear, which is believed to terrorise rural communities who live in the foothills of the Andes in Argentina and Chile. Local legend has it that the Ucumar is the bastard child of a field maid and the ranch pattern that was rejected by his father and left to die in the mountains by his mother, only to survive thanks to the help of Lucifer. In revenge, he now haunts the area of his exile, taking cattle and sometimes humans in payment for his abandonment. Although this legend is concentrated in the Andes of Argentina and Chile, stories of the Ucumar also exist in Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, Venezuela, and Colombia.

What’s in a name? Named after its mournful or ululating call, it’s also colloquially known as Sachayoj, Ucu, Ukumar-zupai, jukumari, ukumari, and ukuku. Ucumar also means bear and most of the interpretations of this legendary beast seem to be centred around its bear-like characteristics.

Monstrous Measurements: According to local folklore, it is a hair-covered, bipedal, half-man/half-bear. A wild and ugly humanoid form, standing 5-7ft tall, with immense sharp teeth, small eyes, a long beard, and a narrow forehead. It has large hands and legs and feet with opposed toes.

Terrifying Tracks: Human-like tracks, 17 inches in length, said in some cases to show an opposable toe!

Beastly Behaviours: Bipedal. Makes Eerie, mournful calls at night that sound like: Uhu, Uhu. Incredibly strong and agile and able to climb trees with ease. Attacks and kills, using the element of surprise. Abducts women for breeding. Sometimes abducts children and forces them to live with him.

Deadly Diet: Appears to be vegetarian, feeding on fruit and wild honey. It is reputed to be very fond of the Payo plant that has an inside similar to cabbage. Although some folktales surrounding the legend of the creature state that it occasionally feeds on corn and farm animals, whose meat it eats raw. A facet that may be indicative of a large omnivore, like a bear, being responsible for the legend!

The Ucumar is said to be fond of the cabbage-like insides of the Payo plant (Aechmea distichantha)

Hairy Habitat: The Ucumar inhabits mountains, caves, and rocky areas and is distributed throughout the Tolar Grande, Umahuaca, El Chorro, and Baritu national Park in Salta Province, as well as Caliliegua province and Chaco Province in Argentina. According to legend, he lives in caves at the bottom of the ravines and likes to walk along the rivers, especially to bathe in them.

Scary Sightings:

1958: In 1958, a group was camping in Rengo, in the Cordilleras, Province of Santiago, Chile, when they encountered a large ape-man. The group was so terrified by the strange beast that they called the police, who later arrived and took statements from the witnesses, who swore that they had seen an enormous man covered with hair!

1957: Newspapers reported that the residents of Tolar Grande were being woken nightly by a chorus of eerie calls coming from the Curu-Curu Mountains. The cries, which the locals believed to come from an Ucumar, terrified them for some time. The semi-folkloric reality of the Ucumar, like many creatures ingrained into the tradition and superstition of other nations, holds the duel position of ghoul and beasts, which is enough for local peoples to believe it at once to be a supernatural being that cannot be captured and a beast-like animal that can inflict physical harm upon the unwary. Indeed! In Argentina, tales of these giant ape-men continue to this very day! Argentina.

Beastly Evidence:

Tracks:

In 1956, Geologist Audio L. Pich was travelling in the Andes Mountains (Argentina) at a height of over sixteen thousand feet when he came upon unusual human-like footprints, seventeen inches long.

In 1957, tracks similar to those discovered by Audio L. Pich were also found in the province of La Salta, Argentina.

Beastly Theories:

Spectacled Bear: Theories about the identity of the Ucumar vary from its being a South American Sasquatch to an extinct Ground Sloth like the Mapinguari, and although it is described as a half bear-half Apeman; the most likely known monster impostor that would fit its purported dimensions is the spectacled bear; which, although primarily found in the Andes, does occasionally venture as far south as northern Argentina. The bear is rare, nay almost extinct, and aside from around 3000 specimens which are currently located in Peru and thankfully protected by law; it would likely be an unexpected animal and if encountered, physically or audibly, by unprepared witnesses, after dark; this rare bear could surely transform into a Bigfoot-like being, like the Ucumar. But this animal can't emit a sound like that attributed to the Ucumar. Interestingly, in Peru and Bolivia, the spectacled bear is known as Ucumari or Jucamari. There is certainly universal agreement that the Ucumar materialised from the spectacled bear or ukumari of the jungles of the Chaco yungas, in the Baritú National Park, in Salta province, Argentina, Indeed, in Quechua and Aymara languages, Ucumar, means ‘bear’ and most interpretations of the legendary being are based on this meaning. And yet, one wonders whether this etymological plagiarism of the Ucumar is due to its bear-like appearance or simply because, as is the case in many countries, the name itself is a catch-all term for large animals of a similar description?

Could the endangered and rarely seen account for some sightings of the Ucumar?

Surviving Gigantopithecus: A surviving, ‘evolved’, Gigantopithecus Blacki, a huge Pleistocene ape, known only from jaw fragments found in southern China and Vietnam. As much as this fossil ape would seem to be to most Bigfoot believers, the golden ticket to the main event: i.e., a paleontological promissory of an evolutionary forefather to our modern-day bigfoot phenomena, there are some understandable difficulties with this theory; the most obvious of which is the subjective speculation upon which the physiological dimensions of this animal has been reconstructed. In fact, were it still in existence today, it might be more gorilla-like in appearance and very likely, though not categorically, quadrupedal.

Gigantopithecus lower jaw (cast) from the Cenozoic of eastern Asia. Public display, Cleveland Museum of Natural History, Cleveland, Ohio, USA.

Could a type of giant Man-Ape, or Big Yeti, exist here on the Tibetan Plateau?

JEZ-TYRMAK

There is some overlap between the Jez Tyrmak , the Dzu-Teh, and Rimi , and although mildly differing in some respects, their overall description as giant Man-Apes as well as their distribution throughout the Himalayas and the Tibetan Plateau is sufficient, I believe in this case, to amalgamate all three creatures into one. Viewing their distinct names simply as indigenous appellations, colloquially conferred upon them by the diverse cultures that pepper the vast expanse of the Tibetan Plateau.

What’s in a name? The name Jez-Tyrmak is derived from the Mongolian Jelmoguz-Jez-Tyrmak (pronounced, dzhel-moghul-dzh-tura-muk), meaning: Great big living things not found in all but in most hilly places. But it is also rendered, confusingly as: ‘copper fingernails’. As is often the case in culturally diverse yet symbiotic regions, it is also known by the etymologically plagiarised appellations of ‘Dzehez-Tyrmak’ & ‘Zes Tyrmak’, which have similar meanings. Correspondingly: Dzu-Teh, (big, or hulking thing) and Rimi (A Man-Creature of the Mountains.) are similar in their implied iterations.

Monstrous Measurements: 6 – 9 ft. tall, human-like, with a pronounced brow ridge. Covered with long shaggy hair that is dark grey to black, in colour, that gets lighter as it ages, or according to altitude. It has long, powerfully built arms and huge hands. As indicated by its unique name, at least one variety of this giant Man-Ape has ‘copper-coloured fingernails’.

Terrifying Tracks: similar in appearance to the tracks of the Sasquatch, but exceptionally large, ranging between 18 to 20 inches in length.

Beastly Behaviours: The giant Man-Apes of the Himalayas live primarily on calves or older, sick and dying yaks, but they also seem to have undertaken a vocation out of seeking out animal victims of bad winters and storing the carcasses away in their high altitude larders (caves). They are thought to covet bones, which they crack open for the marrow.

Deadly Diet: The Giant Man Apes (like the interchangeable Jez-Tyrmak, Dzu-Teh and Rimi,) who inhabit these high altitudes have become specialised beef-eaters and live almost exclusively on yaks, which they kill by catching them by their horns and twisting their necks. In the case of the standout-ish copper coloured nails of the Jez-Tyrmak, these could be from Staphylococcus aureus, caused by the tearing up of animal carcasses.

Hairy Habitat: Infrequently encountered throughout the Tibetan Plateau, Tibet, at higher altitudes from 13,000 to 15,000 ft. The Jez-Tyrmak is likely the same animal as the ‘Dzu-Teh’ reported in the Himalayas, in and around Sikkim State, India; Bhutan and Tibet, and the ‘apparently’ vegetarian ‘Rimi’ of Tibet and Eastern Nepal. All three of which are colloquially referred to as ‘Big Yeti’ throughout the Himalayas. Local old-timers in this region often tell stories about seeing Jez-tyrmak and his footprints and say. …There are two types of them. One is big and does not come down to the river, he often appears in the snowy mountains, and the smaller one walks in the water...

Beastly Evidence:

Gates’ Track: Television explorer – Josh Gates discovered the tracks of a large hominoid in the foothills of the Himalayas in 2007. The tracks were remarkably similar to those of Sasquatch tracks found throughout North America, indicating that a similar giant, ‘Man Ape’, distinct from the Yeti (Meh-Teh), may inhabit the Himalayas.

Beastly Theories:

Blue Bear: These giant man-apes could not be ordinary bears, as they generally live at a higher altitude than the usual (blue) bears do and the ranges for other species of bear are also entirely different. The other main reason is that it has taken up a life as a specialist yak-raider which is not ordinary bear behaviour in Tibet. So it would seem that they go up the mountains which these bears do not. This detail, combined with the fact that their tracks are entirely different from those of a bear, indicates that misidentified bears are not a good fit for these mysterious creatures. Even in the case of the Dzu-The, whose name does mean Yak-bear, it is still identified as one of the Big Yeti; because, in this case, the word 'bear' is generic for a large predator.

Surviving Gigantopithecus: A surviving, ‘evolved’ Gigantopithecus Blacki, a huge Pleistocene ape, known only from jaw fragments found in southern China and Vietnam. As much as this fossil ape would seem to be to most Bigfoot believers, the golden ticket to the main event: i.e., a paleontological promissory of an evolutionary forefather to our modern-day bigfoot phenomena, there are some understandable difficulties with this theory; the most obvious of which is the subjective speculation upon which the physiological dimensions of this animal has been reconstructed. In fact, were it still in existence today, it might be more gorilla-like in appearance and very likely, although not categorically, quadrupedal.

A trifling 1.9% of Scotland's landmass is covered by urban sprawl; if a giant, ‘Man Ape’ could survive undetected anywhere in Britain, then surely it would be here! (Carn a' Mhaim from Ben MacDhui.)

AM FEAR LIATH MÒR

It has long been thought that the Big Grey Man of the Cairngorm Mountains, and in especial, the summit of Ben MacDhui, is a folkloric throwback to when this misty land, now colloquially known as Great Britain, was populated by cruel giants who ruled a land that was then known as Albion; (or to their Irish neighbours in the east - The Land of the Mighty) . Ben MacDhui is the biggest mountain in the Cairngorms and the second highest in the UK. It is a sterile environment not conducive to supporting a large omnivore and on its harsh, barren slopes, nothing really grows - save the most resilient alpine plants. In the winter, the northern sun barely penetrates the thick cloud cover and mist, which rolls in unexpectedly and can cover the land for days; creating an eerie landscape shrouded in mist, from which the uninitiated can begin to feel assailed and that they are being secretly watched by mysterious beings that could emerge from the mists at any time. Strange sounds, like cracks, whines, and even the sound of heavy footfalls, are often heard by lonely climbers trapped in the mountain's mists. Whether these are the environmental and meteorological groans of this enigmatic area, steeped in shadowy antiquity, no one knows. Yet, some believe that the mountain hides a hairy hominid of giant proportions, known in Scots Gaelic as Am Fear Liath Mor – The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui.

What’s in a name? The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui is also known in Scot Gaelic as Am Fear Liath Mor, Ferlas Mhor, Ferlie More, and Fomor.

Monstrous Measurements: Standing stands erect at 10 – 20 ft. tall and covered with thick but short grey, olive, or brown hair. It has pointed ears and broad shoulders. Long, waving arms, long legs, and finger-like talons on its hands and feet.

Terrifying Tracks: - On December, 2nd 1952, James Alan Rennie photographed a series of tracks in the snow - 19 inches long and 14 inches wide, with a stride of 7ft. The tracks were travelling in a perfectly straight line on the mountain and at one point, they even appeared to have entirely jumped a distance of 30 feet over a road that must have been perceived as an obstacle, impeding the creature’s onward journey.

Beastly Behaviours: The Big Grey Man is said to be more aggressive than its Asian and American counterparts, often appearing in thick fog or mist and frightening lonely travellers on the mountain. It makes odd crunching noises that sound like heavy footsteps and a high-pitched droning hum, echoing across the mountain. Its presence is preceded by an icy feeling in the air that induces distress and dread, or depression and apathy. There is a strong belief among climbers that it has the power to affect one’s emotional state with strong and irrational impulses, with some witnesses even claiming that they felt irresistibly compelled to hurl themselves from the summit. Its presence is also sometimes accompanied by ghostly music, voices, and laughter.

Hairy Habitat: The Summit of Ben MacDhui and throughout the Cairngorm Mountains, Grampian, Scotland.

Scary Sightings:

1891: One of the earliest modern witnesses of the Big Grey man was Norman Collie, a professor of chemistry at the University College London. He was also a passionate hill-walker. During the annual general meeting of the Cairngorm Club in Aberdeen on a dark, winter’s night in December 1925, he told a story to its members of a most strange experience he had on the mountain in 1891. An experienced climber, he had been returning from the summit when he heard the crunch of footsteps behind him. For every step he took, he heard another crunch nearby as if someone were following him but with a stride three or four times the size of his own. Collie stated, For every few steps I took, I heard a crunch. It was as if someone was walking after me, but taking steps three to four lengths of mine. Although he never saw anyone, he was certain something was there. Terrified at the prospect of meeting this giant stalker, He ran downhill for the last few miles.

Professor Norman Collie. Image Credit: UCL Chemistry Collections. CC BY 3.0

1904: Hugh Welsh and his brother were studying plants and arachnids near the summit of Ben MacDhui and were conscious of soft-sounding footsteps around them whenever they were moving. Curiously the footsteps did not match their own footfalls, which would be expected if they were the result of an unexplained echo effect produced by the obtuse topography in the area. They noted that these curious sounds were more distinct during the daylight hours and throughout their excursion, the brothers were "very conscious of ‘something’ near them".

1920s: Tom Crowley, an experienced climber and former president of the Moray Mountaineering Club, also heard the footsteps as he was descending Braeriach (a peak to the west of Ben MacDhui, across the Lairig Ghru pass) into Glen Eanaich. He paused and turned his head to cast a glance over his shoulder and was alarmed to see a tall, grey figure, with pointed ears, long legs and finger-like talons on its feet approaching him from behind.

1920s: Alexander Mitchell Kellas, a very experienced climber and scientist (Chemist). Together with his brother Henry, Kellas was ascending to the mountain’s summit when they spotted a giant figure 10 feet tall and moving towards them from the direction of the Lairig Ghru pass. The Scottish chemist watched the shape ‘walk’ to the summit, circle the cairn there (with which it was equal in height), and then disappear back into the pass.

1940: In his book, ‘The Big Grey Man of Ben MacDhui’, Richard Frere detailed an encounter related to him by a friend, who had been camping at the very top of the mountain in 1940. His friend had settled down in his tent for the evening and fallen asleep when Frere awoke suddenly and noticed movement outside his tent’s opening. And as he peered out of his tent into the night, he observed a large, broad-shouldered, brownish, humanoid creature that must have been twenty feet in height. The terrifying creature seemed to swagger as it moved around the camp, emitting an air of insolent strength before eventually moving off. (Richard Frerer too had claimed to have experienced similar strange sensations and fears as other climbers in the cairngorms, on a trip upon the mountain in 1948)

1942: Legendary climber William Sydney Scroggie was camping out at the shelter stone by the Garbh Uisge on Ben MacDhui when he saw a tall, imperial figure taking large deliberate steps towards the burns flowing onto Loch Avon.

1943: Naturalist and mountaineer Alexander Tewnion had a harrowing confrontation with the Big Grey Man. His account appeared in ‘The Scots Magazine’ in June 1958:

I am not unduly imaginative, but my thought flew instantly to the well-known story of professor Collie and the Fear Liath Mhor [Big Grey Man]. Then I felt the reassuring weight of the loaded revolver in my pocket. Grasping the butt, I peered about in the mist here rent and tattered by the eddies of wind. A strange shape loomed up, receded, came charging at me! Without hesitation, I whipped out the revolver and fired three times at the figure. When it still came on, I turned and hared down the path, reaching Glen Derry in a time that I have never bettered. You may ask, was it really the Fear Liath Mhor? Frankly, I think it was. Many times since then, I have traversed MacDhui in the mist, bivouacked out in the open, and camped on its summit for days on end on different occasions — often alone and always with an easy mind. For, on that day, I am convinced I shot the only Fear Liath Mhor my imagination will ever see.

Beastly Evidence:

Tracks:

On December, 2nd 1952, James Alan Rennie photographed a series of tracks in the snow in a straight line on the mountain. Each print was about 19 inches long and 14 inches wide, with a stride of 7ft. At one point, the tracks even jumped a road over a distance of 30 feet.

Beastly Theories:

Brocken Spectre Effect: Are sightings of the Big Grey Man, nothing more than meteorological hallucinations! According to some sceptics, a common atmospheric anomaly called a Brocken Spectre Effect is responsible for eyewitness accounts and not a flesh and blood monster. This rare alien atmospheric anomaly is produced when the sun hits the mist and