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Choose Your Own Disaster Paperback – June 19, 2018

4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 327 ratings

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A"hilarious and heartbreaking" (Jo Piazza) and unflinchingly honest memoir about one young woman's terrible and life-changing decisions while hoping--and sometimes failing--to find herself, in the style of Never Have I Ever and Adulting.

Join Dana Schwartz on a journey revisiting all of the awful choices she made in her early twenties through the internet's favorite method of self-knowledge: the quiz. Part-memoir, part-VERY long personality test,
Choose Your Own Disaster is a manifesto about the millennial experience and modern feminism and how the easy advice of "you can be anything you want!" is actually pretty fucking difficult when there are so many possible versions of yourself it seems like you could be.

Dana has no idea who she is, but at least she knows she's a Carrie, a Ravenclaw, a Raphael, a Belle, a former emo kid, a Twitter addict, and a millennial just trying her best.

This long-form personality quiz manages to combine humor with unflinching honesty as one young woman tries to find herself amid the many, many choices that your twenties have to offer.
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Editorial Reviews

Review


A hilarious and heartbreaking journey of how hard it is to figure out how to be the woman we all think we should be. Schwartz's book is a witty and incisive guide for women navigating a world that is violently shifting beneath our feet on a daily basis.


JO PIAZZA, bestselling author of The Knockoff and Fitness Junkie


CHOOSE YOUR OWN DISASTER had me so hooked that more than once I looked up from reading it and realized I had no idea how many subway stops had gone by. Dana's disasters will entertain you, but it's her endearingly honest and unflinching perspective that will keep you turning the page.


ERIN CHACK, author of This Is Really Happening


"Reading CHOOSE YOUR OWN DISASTER feels like a hilarious night out with your best friend. Your early twenties are messy, dark, and exhilarating-Dana Schwartz captures all of that with unflinching honesty and a spot-on sense of humor.


HANNAH ORENSTEIN, author of Playing with Matches

"Equal parts amusing and cringe-worthy, these stories will have millennial readers relating and older ones nodding, 'Yes. I've made similar mistakes."―
Library Journal

"This long-form personality quiz manages to combine humor with unflinching honesty as one young woman tries to find herself amid the many, many choices that your twenties have to offer."―
Bustle

"The snappy direct address gives the feel of a playful internet bit, is sure to please Schwartz's loyal fans."―
Booklist

"What do millennials love more than a quiz? NOTHING (except for killing off the diamond and napkin industries). That's part of what makes Dana Schwartz's unflinching, hilarious, and feminist memoir,
Choose Your Own Disaster, such a fun ride."―PopSugar

"
Choose Your Own Disaster is a salted caramel of a memoir. Her travails as an early 20-something aspiring writer/rom-com character are the perfect mixture of salty and sweet."―The Washington Post

About the Author

Dana Schwartz is an arts and culture writer based in Los Angeles with writing for the New Yorker, the Guardian, New York Observer, Marie Claire, Glamour, Mic, GQ, VICE, and more. She is currently a staff writer for Entertainment Weekly. She created a parody Twitter account called @GuyInYourMFA based on the people she's encountered in fiction workshops, and another one called @DystopianYA about the tropes in all of the young adult fiction books she's read. Her own (non-dystopian) YA book, And We're Off, was published May 2017 by Penguin/Razorbil.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Grand Central Publishing (June 19, 2018)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1478970391
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1478970392
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.25 x 0.75 x 8.13 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.2 4.2 out of 5 stars 327 ratings

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Dana Schwartz
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Dana Schwartz is a writer with bylines for Entertainment Weekly, Vanity Fair, Glamour, Marie Claire, the New Yorker, GQ, and more. She's the creator of the viral Twitter accounts @GuyInYourMFA and @DystopianYA, and the host and creator of the chart-topping history podcast NOBLE BLOOD. Dana lives in Los Angeles with her cat, Beetlejuice.

Customer reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
327 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book entertaining and readable. They appreciate the author's sense of humor and insightful writing style. Readers describe the memoir as honest, raw, and relatable. The writing style is described as terrific, easy to read, and articulate.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

53 customers mention "Readability"53 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and entertaining. They describe it as a wonderful memoir that makes young women feel good. The format is creative and the author seems worldly, articulate, and experienced.

"...Choose Your Own Disaster is an excellent read for fans of memoirs, formal experimentation, awkward comedy, and just plain good writing." Read more

"I can’t believe Dana and I are the same age. She seems so worldly and articulate and experienced and cool...." Read more

"...It is a perfect summer beach read! Think this is code for "guilty pleasure". Sorry!" Read more

"...it should, because in addition to being deep and well-written this book is also fun!..." Read more

50 customers mention "Humor"45 positive5 negative

Customers enjoy the book's humor. They find it funny, honest, and entertaining. The sense of humor is described as silly and dark at times. Readers describe the book as a brilliant sendup of the genre.

"...is an excellent read for fans of memoirs, formal experimentation, awkward comedy, and just plain good writing." Read more

"...This book is funny and silly and sometimes very dark. I liked it a lot." Read more

"...(smirked once every two pages, giggled once every five pages and laughed out loud once every twelve pages)...." Read more

"...I like her sense of humor, but just can't relate." Read more

33 customers mention "Insight"29 positive4 negative

Customers find the book insightful and relatable. They describe it as a thoughtful, funny, and charming read that makes you laugh, cry, and think about your own cringiest moments.

"...Your Own Disaster is an excellent read for fans of memoirs, formal experimentation, awkward comedy, and just plain good writing." Read more

"...And she highlighted such incredible moments, situations and feelings. It's a book of feelings. Of navigating these feelings...." Read more

"...This was a fun, interesting, and enlightening look into the mind of a 20-something year old woman. Well written, good pacing, no boring bits...." Read more

"...Choose Your Own Disaster is one of the most brilliant, creative, and honest books I have ever read...." Read more

22 customers mention "Honesty"22 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the author's honesty. They find the memoir honest, raw, and relatable. The book is described as honest, earnest, and self-critical.

"...Brutally honest (probably an issue that I was jealous of her anorexia- prefer to chew and spit) but always entertaining..." Read more

"...Dana Schwartz talks about all those topics super candidly and in a way that feels so much more visceral and real than a lot of other essays I've..." Read more

"...The book is raw, earnest, self-critical and self-glorifying. It tells a story that is specific to one human, but accessible to all...." Read more

"...Dana is funny, and honest, and highly relatable. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a little disaster in their life." Read more

16 customers mention "Relatability"16 positive0 negative

Customers find the book relatable and entertaining. They appreciate the author's wit and creativity. The book covers different aspects of the author's life, including confessions, criticism, and humorous observations.

"...or unrelatable if you aren't a millennial woman... but Dana's story is compelling and her writing style is so easy to fall into...." Read more

"...Dana is funny, and honest, and highly relatable. I would highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a little disaster in their life." Read more

"...It’s so relatable, you’ll worry that you’re own original thoughts.... aren’t so original after all...." Read more

"...Not only is this an entertaining read, but it's relatable. It will everyone who reads it feel a little less alone with their disasters." Read more

14 customers mention "Writing style"14 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the author's writing style. They find it easy to read, with a nice ease even when exploring aspects of her life. Readers describe the author as articulate and experienced.

"...of memoirs, formal experimentation, awkward comedy, and just plain good writing." Read more

"I can’t believe Dana and I are the same age. She seems so worldly and articulate and experienced and cool...." Read more

"...PERsuades you, it should, because in addition to being deep and well-written this book is also fun!..." Read more

"...Well written, good pacing, no boring bits...." Read more

12 customers mention "Emotional content"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's emotional content funny and heartbreaking. They describe it as a melancholy reflection of adulthood that resonates with everyone. The book is described as awkward, touching, and relatable.

"...Your Own Adventure format in a way that is both funny and emotionally affecting...." Read more

"...It's a book of feelings. Of navigating these feelings. It's everything I'd ask for in a book. Buy this book. Carry it with you wherever you go...." Read more

"...It's funny and charming and heartbreaking and real (and brilliantly written, of course)...." Read more

"...provide powerful evidence for the potential of books to create and share empathy...." Read more

7 customers mention "Visceral content"7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's content touching and honest. It offers a humorous and poignant look at life as a 20-something.

"...And she highlighted such incredible moments, situations and feelings. It's a book of feelings. Of navigating these feelings...." Read more

"...about all those topics super candidly and in a way that feels so much more visceral and real than a lot of other essays I've read on the topics...." Read more

"...The book is funny, touching, and brutally honest in a way that I needed. I’m recommending it to everyone I know!" Read more

"...to say about this book except hat it was so relatable on a deep, visceral level and i highly recommend." Read more

DID I JUST READ ABOUT MY LIFE?!
5 out of 5 stars
DID I JUST READ ABOUT MY LIFE?!
Wow. Just. Wow. This book. How do I even go about making a complete sentence that describes how incredible this book is??? There were so many moments where I had to put the book down and think to myself, "WAIT, IS THIS ME? DID I WRITE THIS? AM I ACTUALLY DANA?" I laughed. So much. I cried. So much. I pressed my finger down on certain pages and exclaimed, "this!" as my husband would look over me, unphased and slightly confused. Everything about this book just reeled me in. I know there are so many incredible writers out there, but Dana is truly such a special one. She nailed my experiences with eating disorder, depression and the inability to have a big ol' O. She made me feel so less alone while reading this. And she highlighted such incredible moments, situations and feelings. It's a book of feelings. Of navigating these feelings. It's everything I'd ask for in a book. Buy this book. Carry it with you wherever you go. Read it. Re-read it. Laugh with it. Cry with it. Thump your finger with it. You won't regret a single second.
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2018
    I purchased this book because I am a fan of Dana Schwartz's Twitter accounts, the one under her own name and her brilliant @GuyInYourMFA and @DystopianYA. Her comic voice makes it to the pages of Choose Your Own Disaster absolutely intact. Further, the book uses the Choose Your Own Adventure format in a way that is both funny and emotionally affecting. The book is a cross between a memoir and a picaresque, telling the (semi-?) autobiographical story of a woman and her professional, romantic, and sexual misadventures. Oftentimes these are funny, and as many times they are awkward, upsetting, and ultimately moving. I hoped to encounter her comic and satirical voice that I enjoy on Twitter, and was happy to discover a great deal of emotional resonance along with it. I felt pretty awful for her several times throughout the book, and sincerely hope things have gotten better for her. Choose Your Own Disaster is an excellent read for fans of memoirs, formal experimentation, awkward comedy, and just plain good writing.
    10 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 23, 2018
    I can’t believe Dana and I are the same age. She seems so worldly and articulate and experienced and cool. This book is funny and silly and sometimes very dark. I liked it a lot.
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 21, 2018
    This was the guiltiest pleasure book I have ever read. With every passing page the Catholic guilt, built deep within me, welled up and made me hate myself for enjoying this book so much. At school, an evil rumor was whispered that masturbation made you go blind. Unfortunately this also coincided with my eyes rapidly diminishing to the point where I needed glasses. As a thirteen year old I made my choice in life and started looking into guide dogs for the blind and listening to audio books (somehow knew I would be too lazy to learn braille).
    In all seriousness, I agree with the writer's viewpoint that the book shouldn't be described as a guilty pleasure. It is just a super fun read and you should feel zero guilt for enjoying it. Brutally honest (probably an issue that I was jealous of her anorexia- prefer to chew and spit) but always entertaining (smirked once every two pages, giggled once every five pages and laughed out loud once every twelve pages).
    It is a perfect summer beach read! Think this is code for "guilty pleasure". Sorry!
  • Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2018
    I don't think this is the kind of book for me. I feel like I'm missing out on so much content with the choose your own adventure format. The quiz questions mainly have 3 answer choices and I'm not relating to many of the answers. I like her sense of humor, but just can't relate.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2019
    Wow. Just. Wow. This book. How do I even go about making a complete sentence that describes how incredible this book is??? There were so many moments where I had to put the book down and think to myself, "WAIT, IS THIS ME? DID I WRITE THIS? AM I ACTUALLY DANA?" I laughed. So much. I cried. So much. I pressed my finger down on certain pages and exclaimed, "this!" as my husband would look over me, unphased and slightly confused. Everything about this book just reeled me in. I know there are so many incredible writers out there, but Dana is truly such a special one. She nailed my experiences with eating disorder, depression and the inability to have a big ol' O. She made me feel so less alone while reading this. And she highlighted such incredible moments, situations and feelings. It's a book of feelings. Of navigating these feelings. It's everything I'd ask for in a book. Buy this book. Carry it with you wherever you go. Read it. Re-read it. Laugh with it. Cry with it. Thump your finger with it. You won't regret a single second.
    Customer image
    5.0 out of 5 stars DID I JUST READ ABOUT MY LIFE?!
    Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2019
    Wow. Just. Wow. This book. How do I even go about making a complete sentence that describes how incredible this book is??? There were so many moments where I had to put the book down and think to myself, "WAIT, IS THIS ME? DID I WRITE THIS? AM I ACTUALLY DANA?" I laughed. So much. I cried. So much. I pressed my finger down on certain pages and exclaimed, "this!" as my husband would look over me, unphased and slightly confused. Everything about this book just reeled me in. I know there are so many incredible writers out there, but Dana is truly such a special one. She nailed my experiences with eating disorder, depression and the inability to have a big ol' O. She made me feel so less alone while reading this. And she highlighted such incredible moments, situations and feelings. It's a book of feelings. Of navigating these feelings. It's everything I'd ask for in a book. Buy this book. Carry it with you wherever you go. Read it. Re-read it. Laugh with it. Cry with it. Thump your finger with it. You won't regret a single second.
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    Customer image
    5 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2018
    Writing from my mom's Amazon account -- I loved this book!! I love reading essay collections by women of all ages that touch on issues I'm always thinking about as a 20-year-old girl; mental health, sex, relationships, body image, struggling to get a career (especially a creative career) off the ground. Dana Schwartz talks about all those topics super candidly and in a way that feels so much more visceral and real than a lot of other essays I've read on the topics. (I also just really love her Twitter accounts, plural, all of 'em).

    Please buy this book! If a pink cover dissuades you, don't let it! If a pink cover PERsuades you, it should, because in addition to being deep and well-written this book is also fun! Yet another point in its favor--it's serious but doesn't take itself too seriously. 5 stars!
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2018
    Working on the premise of a choose your own adventure book, this is the perfect quick read for anyone that has struggle to find their place in the word. Tragic, painfully honest and done all with humor. Ther is a self of doubt, yet assurance that our protagonist will get to the end of this adventure finding out more about herself and we’re rooting that her choices will work out. There’s a sense of relatability that all the choices we’ve made, good are bad work out or at least balance out. This book is like catching up with a friend and hearing all the ups and downs while being able to laugh because that’s how we can cope with it all. In the world where we’re told we can be and do anything, this can lead to a lot of uncertainty and trial and error, and that’s where this memoir shines, in the terrifying uncertainly of life.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2018
    I picked up this book because the author's tweets make me laugh, not really fully knowing what to expect. This was a fun, interesting, and enlightening look into the mind of a 20-something year old woman. Well written, good pacing, no boring bits. Highly recommend this book to men with bad dating etiquette so they can learn what NOT to do (unless they want to get called out in a memoir later), and to women in general, who I'm sure will relate and/or learn something from this.
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars great!
    Reviewed in Canada on June 30, 2020
    clever, funny, and entertaining. Read it back to front and choose your own adventure style.
  • giualonso
    5.0 out of 5 stars Real and raw
    Reviewed in Brazil on July 26, 2018
    Dana is a superb new voice and Choose your own disaster reads like all of our voices if we all knew how to write.
  • Dani Heyn
    5.0 out of 5 stars Funny
    Reviewed in Germany on October 3, 2019
    Super funny book
  • Mr. Matthew P. Jones
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 4, 2018
    Super interesting format and well written! A great book
  • Sarah
    3.0 out of 5 stars Kind of strange but interesting
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 28, 2019
    I forgot that I started this book (not usually a good sign) but cake across it on my Kindle while looking for something else. I loved “choose your own adventure” books as a child, so that’s the main reason I bought this. I enjoyed it.