Magnolia: Mom just dropped off a literal trash bag full of candy at my house
Magnolia: Apparently they didn’t have any trick-or-treaters
Magnolia: She bought enough candy for every child in the state
Ash: And now it’s yours. Felicitations.
Magnolia: Not mine for long. I’m strapping these kids into the stroller and bringing half of it to your office.
Ash: Unnecessary. There’s already a bowl of leftover candy in the conference room.
Magnolia: Then we’ll go over to Rob’s office and donate some sugar to his staff.
Ash: I doubt he needs any candy other there.
Magnolia: I don’t care!
Ash: Then you should’ve said that from the start.
Magnolia: Listen, dude. It’s a beautiful day and these kids are still hungover from Halloween. I need to get all the hyper out of them and exhaust them into sleeping tonight. A long walk down to the Financial District will help. At least, it will help my sanity.
Ash: They’re two…
Ash: How is it that difficult?
Magnolia: You don’t know what it’s like parenting twin toddler boys, Ash!
Linden: This is when you should shut up, Ash.
Ash: Yeah, I know. I don’t have kids so I have no clue.
Ash: But they’re smaller children. They sleep fifteen hours a day, have a limited command of the language, and they aren’t especially good at walking steadily. It can’t be that hard.
Magnolia: So, you’ll take them for the afternoon?
Ash: If you need a break, yeah, I’d be happy to keep them busy. I don’t have any meetings this afternoon. They can hang out with me in my office.
Linden: I am going to need before and after pics, Maggie.
Magnolia: Skip the pics! Go get your kids and bring them over to Uncle Ash. He knows everything about toddlers!
Linden: Let me think about that.
Ash: You’re both so full of shit.
Eight hours later
Zelda: Hey! I just got home and Ash is a little catatonic. He’s talking about scheduling a vasectomy on Monday. He said you’d know what it was about?
Magnolia: hahahaaaaaaaa
Linden: Classic Ash.
****
