Think back to your wedding. Okay? You got it in mind. Remember that promise you made? You promised to love your spouse always. Right? Yes. Of course, you did. You also promised to cherish them. What? You don't remember that? Well, you did. So you say you're covered anyway? Love and cherish are just synonyms?
Hardly.
You can love many many people and yet not cherish them. Your spouse is one person you are to cherish. Cherish entails treating them like they are a treasure, a one of a kind, a rare jewel, there is no one else like them. It includes love, but it is not just love. Cherish doesn't mean you think the other person is perfect, but that you focus on the things that are good and be patient and forgiving with the sins that they struggle with knowing that you struggle with them as well.
Okay, guys. I hear you out there. I know what you men are saying. "I'm sure my wife understands that well, but I'm a man. If I go to all my buddies and say that my wife doesn't cherish me, they'll just laugh at me." So what about we use another word? Would you like your wife to honor you? That sounds more like it, doesn't it?
"My wife is to honor me? Hey. Does that mean I get more sex? Well, if that's what speaks honor to you, then yes."
"Hey! Sounds good, doesn't it!"
"Yeah! It sure does! Nothing makes me feel honored like how my wife treats me under the sheets!"
"And you sir, are absolutely right. If that speaks honor to you, your wife should aim for that, but may I ask you, what are you doing back?"
"What?"
"You heard me. Look. I know about those pictures you're looking at on your computer. I know that you're checking out those other women on TV shows and at the mall. Do you think your wife notices? Do you think you can fully cherish her even if she doesn't notice? Can you fully treat her like the one for you she is if your mind is filled with a multitude of other women?"
Perhaps marriages would be different then if both spouses did that. Think back to Adam and Eve. On a very traditional interpretation, there is just Adam and Eve. Adam sees Eve and knows that she is his and his alone and he gets to cherish her. She is so unique. Eve gets to see Adam and know that he is the man for her. He is the one to turn to. He is her rock.
Perhaps also you should watch your words to one another. Are your words speaking love and affirmation? It can be easy to let loose that zinger at the time. C.S. Lewis even once said that we could get a lot of credit to ourselves for not saying that zinger to our spouse that was on the tip of the tongue. It might have knocked out our spouse for the count and won us the argument, but it would have cost us a relationship.
And isn't that another thing about cherishing? Cherishing has to be a lifestyle. Intimacy has to be built up by both people. Both people have to learn to make sacrifices. Once you marry, it is no longer just you. It is both of you together. If one person is failing, both are failing. If one person is succeeding, both are succeeding. In fact, there is only one area you and your spouse should truly compete in. That's cherishing. Do each of you strive to be more cherishing to the other?
Gary Thomas's book on this is a huge wake-up call. I went through and highlighted many such places. Sometimes I wish I had read the chapter that I read earlier. There is so much good in here and if we want to see marriage lived out properly in a culture trying to redefine it, then we need to be learning to people who cherish.
Treat your spouse as a treasure. Learn to give more than to get. See the other person as the unique individual they are. Remember those vows you made on your wedding day. Be a person of your word. You said you were going to cherish. Do it. Cherish.
In Christ,
Nick Peters
Deeper Waters Apologetics
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From the Publisher
A Note from Lisa and Gary Thomas
Cherishing takes on different forms for each of us, but for me, it is the little acts that leave me feeling adored, safe, worth the effort. Just hearing the word cherish makes me want to hug Gary, give him a kiss on the cheek, and say thank you.
My friend asked me recently what book Gary was working on. I told her it was a new marriage book called Cherish. She instinctively grabbed her husband’s arm, leaned into him, and let out a delighted “aaah.” Just the word elicited that response. I am confident this book, written by one who excels at cherishing, will help you learn to cherish well.
—Lisa Thomas
Cultivating a cherishing attitude toward your spouse will elevate your marriage relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. While cherish may seem to start out as an internal reality, it will always be reflected by what you do, and it can revolutionize your marriage.
—Gary Thomas
Through personal stories, real-world examples, and timeless biblical truths, Gary Thomas will teach you how to:
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Use your mind to change your heart |
Sacrifice for your spouse |
Prioritize your life partner |
Pray with intentionality |
WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING
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"Your marriage will never be the same."Get ready to be inspired! This book is sure to lift your marriage to a higher level—that’s what it did for us. But Gary does more than inspire. He equips. He shows us how to lovingly care for and treasure our spouse like never before. Don’t miss out on this incredibly practical message. Your marriage will never be the same. —Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott, #1 New York Times bestselling authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts |
"Gary Thomas brings truth and reminds us of Jesus in the midst of our earthly relationships."Cherish is full of wisdom, practical advice, and candor on a subject so personal and sacred—how to live the marriage you want every day. Gary Thomas brings truth and reminds us of Jesus in the midst of our earthly relationships. —Jennie Allen, author of Nothing to Prove and founder of IF:GATHERING |
"This book reveals new pathways to grow a healthy, dynamic, and life-giving marriage."Every married person desires to love and cherish their spouse. Most of us have a sense of what it means to love well. Few of us have a vision of what it means to cherish our spouse. Gary Thomas paints a vivid picture of what it means to truly cherish another human being. This book reveals new pathways to grow a healthy, dynamic, and life-giving marriage. —Dr. Kevin G. Harney, pastor, author, and founder of Organic Outreach International |
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| Cherish Study Guide with DVD | Making Your Marriage a Fortress | Sacred Marriage | Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life | Preparing Your Heart for Marriage: Devotions for Engaged Couples | |
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| Price | — | $14.62 | $11.60 | $19.58 | $12.94 |
| More excellent Marriage Resources by Gary Thomas | The six video sessions include: 1. To Love and to Cherish 2. Your Honor 3. Taking Your Marriage to the Next Level 4. Cherishing Your Unique Spouse 5. This Is How Your Spouse Stumbles 6. Keep on Cherishing. | The wisdom and insight every couple needs to keep your marriage together when the trials of life threaten to rip it apart and how you can fortify your marriage ahead of time. | Gary Thomas uncovers the ways that your marriage can become a doorway to a closer walk with God and with each other. Join over one million others who have already uncovered Thomas's tips for fostering a sacred marriage. | A unique, comprehensive guide to sexual intimacy for Christian couples in every season of marriage. | Gary Thomas coaches engaged couples on how to grow closer to the Lord in the days leading up to the wedding as a means of preparing them for all the days after the wedding. |
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Top reviews from other countries
C Watson
FANTASTIC book! Sets you up to have the mindset and habits that create a happy marriage!
Reviewed in Canada on January 2, 2024
Kevin McIntyre
Cherish is a book I could not put down, bought the kindle version and audible it was that good
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 28, 2021
Ian Halls
Inspiring counsels for marrieds
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 26, 2018