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John Swartzwelder
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The Animal Report Paperback – November 26, 2014

by John Swartzwelder (Author), David Schutten (Illustrator)
4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 27 ratings
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Legendary Simpson's writer John Swartzwelder's earliest surviving work. A breakthrough study of every known animal on earth - all fifty of them. Published at last to the astonishment of scientists the world over. Complete with the original breathtaking illustrations.
Previous page
  1. Print length
    212 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    November 26, 2014
  4. Dimensions
    7.44 x 0.45 x 9.69 inches
  5. ISBN-10
    150087390X
  6. ISBN-13
    978-1500873905
  7. See all details
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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (November 26, 2014)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 212 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 150087390X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1500873905
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 7.44 x 0.45 x 9.69 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 4.6 out of 5 stars 27 ratings

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John Swartzwelder

John Swartzwelder

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Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5
27 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars love this book
Reviewed in the United States on February 1, 2024
Verified Purchase
This book is hilarious.
Helpful
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David Brasfield
4.0 out of 5 stars Very silly book
Reviewed in the United States on August 19, 2016
Verified Purchase
John Swartzwelder is always good for four or five belly laughs and The Animal Report is no exception. A must for fans of the Simpsons and the Frank Burly stories.
2 people found this helpful
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sean malocca
5.0 out of 5 stars Swartzwelder: Comic genius since the late 70's!!
Reviewed in the United States on January 2, 2015
Verified Purchase
No new frank Burly book in 2014 but don't despair! Here we have another John Swartzwelder book that he wrote in 1980, now published for the first time. A childrens book but dont be put off. It is a typically hilarious, very Swartzweldian effort. If, like me, you delight in telling small children tall stories then this will give you plenty to work with. My favourite line: THE BEE IS THAT MOST DANGEROUS OF ALL CREATURES - A COMMUNIST WITH A STINGER. Forget about Charles Darwin and all his nonsense. All the facts you need to know about the worlds 50 (Yes 50!!) animals are right here. Filled with adorable and very amusing illustrations by David Schutten add to the fun. You're welcome.

Be sure to check out his webpage: Kennydale Books for old ads and Pistol Pete.
8 people found this helpful
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Scott Erickson
5.0 out of 5 stars COWS ARE 100% BEEF AND BEEF BY-PRODUCTS
Reviewed in the United States on August 24, 2015
Verified Purchase
How great to be surprised by this new (but old) Swartzwelder book. It is VERY FUNNY. (I almost wrote VERY RUNNY but that would be more appropriate to describe an undercooked omelet than a book.) The whole book could be read in an hour, but I've been disciplining myself to read only a few "chapters" (pages) a day. In addition to being funny, it's very educational. Before I read this book, I had no idea that dragonflies can reach speeds in excess of 60 miles per hour before exploding. Or that the duck is the only creature on earth whose movements are not controlled by any mechanism whatsoever.
3 people found this helpful
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KBC
5.0 out of 5 stars Another Great Treatment from John Swartzwelder.
Reviewed in the United States on October 28, 2015
Verified Purchase
More craziness from the whimsical world of Swartzwelder. It is worth it for the logic jumps.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Abby Normal
4.0 out of 5 stars Das etwas andere Tierlexikon
Reviewed in Germany on March 9, 2016
Verified Purchase
Simpsons-Autor John Swartzwelder stellt 50 Tiere auf seine ganz spezielle Art vor. Er verwendet tatsächliche Fakten und Eigenschaften, die man den Tieren nachsagt, und macht daraus etwas... anderes. Elefanten (bekannt für ihr gutes Gedächtnis) sitzen zum Beispiel gerne in Kneipen und trinken, um zu vergessen.

Das Ergebnis ist zum Teil sehr witzig. Aber anderes als bei seiner Frank-Burly-Reihe ist es oft auch nur seltsam. Immerhin beziehen sich die Beschreibungen auf echte Tiere.

Da das Buch einen speziellen Humor hat, würde ich vor dem Kauf raten, ins Buch hineinzuschauen. Macht euch anhand der Leseprobe zunächst ein Bild.
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