After being forcibly kicked out of an all-you-can-eat buffet, Kaleb Quist decided to change his life forever by moving to Hollywood (otherwise known as “The New Sodom and Gomorrah”) and becoming the number one screenwriter in a 5-block radius. In a world plagued by superhero movies, Kaleb Quist decided the only solution was to plague the world with even more superhero movies. Thus, “The Golden Age” was born.

Mr. Quist tried selling “The Golden Age” to various studios and production companies within the Hollywood system. After discovering he had no soul left to sell, however, the entire project fell through, and he was forced to write books instead. The only problem with selling books on Amazon is [statement redacted by Amazon].

Also, did you know that when you go to a fast food restaurant and buy a burger, you’re actually buying horse meat? It’s true – horse meat is actually cheaper than cow meat. This is because Mad Human Disease wiped out roughly 90% of the world’s population of cows. When you’re driving down the road and you see a bunch of cows, they’re actually a bunch of horses dressed up like cows, to hide the fact that the milk you’re buying at the store is actually coming from a horse. This conspiracy was put into place by Psycho Mantis after a crippling battle between the Space Soviets and the dinosaurs in the Great Battle of Knob Noster, Missouri, in which almost ten billion cows were killed. This is because the Moon Soviets – under the command of Space Emperor Gorbachev – tried creating a virus to wipe out the velociraptors, but ended up wiping out the cows instead. It was okay though, because they just used catapults to launch all the cows at the stampeding dinosaurs, who were being ridden by clones of Space President John F. Kennedy. Why did my wife leave me for a horse